The Five Stages
by Sparky She-Demon
Summary: Prequel to BCIG. Does not have to be read to understand BCIG. Alex goes through the five stages of grief the year after her mom dies. She acts how a kid normally would under said circumstances. How will she deal with it? Read to find out and review.
1. Prologue

A/N: I do not own NCIS. If I did, Jennifer Shepard would not be dead. And also would I be going to college partially on student loans if I owned anything related to NCIS?

Prologue: What's Wrong Mom?

Seven year old Alex Shepard was many things. Stupid was not one of them. She knew that her mom was sick. She just didn't know how sick because her mother wouldn't tell her anything. She'd had blood taken about two weeks ago by her friend Doctor Mallard. All he said was that she needed to have blood work done. She then put it out of her mind. While she home for the weekend, she decided to do some snooping in her mom's office while she was at work. It was Friday afternoon, and her mom would be at work for several more hours. She slipped from her room at around 16:30 when she was supposed to be doing homework. Noemi would suspect nothing. She slipped into her mom's study and went straight to her desk. She started looking through the drawers, looking for clues. Finding none, she went to the bookshelves to just look around. She found one of her favorite books on WW2. As she pulled it out, some papers came out with it. She noticed that on top of one of the papers was the name of Bethesda Naval Hospital. And a little below was her own name. It was the blood tests that Ducky done. It looked to be good. What it said across the middle puzzled her; for it made no sense to her.

_"Subject does not have the genetic markers for mother's illness"_

Unfortunately, while she was wrapped up in the words, her mom came home early. She came to her study. She noticed that Alex had found the papers.

"What are you doing in my office Alex, when you are supposed to be doing your homework?"

Alex decided to try and bluff her way out of the situation.

"I was just trying to get at my favorite WW2 book on flying from the shelf and when I pulled it from the shelf these papers came out with them."

Her mom gave her a look and went to her desk. She noticed that some of her things were out of place. She looked up at Alex, who blushed bright red.

"Alexandra Elizabeth Shepard, you will tell me what you were doing rifling through my desk."

Alex was silent for a time. She figured now was as good a time as any to confront her mom.

"Mom, what's wrong? You've been acting oddly, I got my blood tested for some disease that you have that I don't, and I've seen the amount of pills you're taking. Tell me if there is something wrong, Mom. You can trust me."

Her mom was silent for a few moments. She then made a decision.

"Go finish your homework Lex, I'll tell you what's happening to me when you are done with it."

"Are you dying?"

"Go do your homework, Alex."

Alex grumbled as she went upstairs. She would do her homework in record time so that she could find out what the hell her mom was keeping from her.

About 45 minutes later….

History homework: check. Science homework: done. Spelling: done. Reading: Done. Alex went over her assignment list one more time. She was all done. She could find out what was wrong with her mom. As she ran down the stairs, she saw her mom's light on in the study. She knocked on the door before barging in. She noticed that her mother smiled sadly at that.

"You act so much like your father."

Alex looked at her mom curiously, where was this going?

"You also have his blue eyes, but that's not all you got from him."

"What else did I get from him, Mom?"

"You got the way he glares at people when's he angry. Both your eyes turn navy blue when you are irritated. You also got your ability to read people like books from him. That will serve you well later in life, being able to read people."

"Could you tell me what wrong with you, mom?"

"I have muscular dystrophy Alex; do you know what that is?"

Alex shook her head. She'd heard of it, but didn't know what it was.

"It's a muscular disease that makes my muscles deteriorate. There will be a point in the short term future that I will not be able to do anything except wait to die. This disease is always terminal."

Alex paled. How was this happening to her mom? Her mom was tough as nails; one of the most stubborn people she'd met in her short life. The people that knew her mother and her and their real familial relationship said that she would be as stubborn as her mother when she was older, if not more so.

"Why did you have my blood work done?"

"To make sure that you didn't have any of the hallmarks for this disease. You got lucky. Your father kept you from getting muscular dystrophy."

Alex just ran forward and hugged her mother, knocking the wind out of her. She hugged her back. They sat like this for a long time. After almost an hour of just sitting with her mom, not talking, she asked her mom a question:

"When do I get to meet my dad?"

"Once school is out. You will have the summer to get used to each other."


	2. A Sick Joke

Chapter 1: A Sick Joke

It was finally May 20th. She was done with school and would be meeting her father in the coming weeks. She wished she could've met her father under more ideal circumstances, but she was glad she'd finally meet him. She had a lot of questions to ask him. Ducky would be picking her up from school, as her mother was in Los Angeles for a funeral. She then heard over the intercom:

_"Alexandra Shepard please report to the Headmaster's office immediately"_.

She rolled her eyes. She'd already made some visits to the Headmaster's office this year. But then she noticed the tone of the voice. It was not a voice of anger or irritation; it was a voice of sorrow and regret. That really got her attention. She walked to the office. She was let into the actual office by the secretary, who gave her a sad look.

"_What's going on here?"_ was what she was thinking.

She noticed Headmaster Seagram. He was talking to someone in a chair in front of his desk. He looked up and noticed that she had arrived.

"Don't worry Miss Shepard, you're not in trouble."

She then noticed that Ducky was the one in the chair. Just as she was about to start asking questions, Headmaster Seagram got up to leave.

"I'll leave you two alone".

Alex looked at Ducky. His face was filled with grief.

"What's wrong Ducky is it about Mom?"

She could tell that he was having trouble starting what he had to say. She gave him time. He said something to her that surprised her.

"Alexandra, I am so sorry."

Alex's mind began to swim. There was only one thing he could be this sorry about. She wouldn't believe it. Couldn't believe it.

"It was a quick death and she went down fighting, she died with her boots on."

There was only one thing that went through her head. Was this some kind of sick joke that was being played on her?

"I'd rather her not be dead at all!"

She ran into Ducky's arms crying her eyes out for about ten minutes. Once she was too exhausted to cry anymore, she asked Ducky

"What's going to happen to me Ducky?"

"You'll be staying with me, Alexandra. Do you want to go get your belongings now?"

"Yes I do, Ducky. Please give me a bit."

She walked back to her room in a daze. She packed up her stuff in a daze. She noticed that people were pointing at her. She ignored them. She just wanted to get back to Ducky and get home. During the drive home, she said little. Ducky respected her silence and didn't press her about anything. Once they got back to Ducky's house he asked if she wanted anything to eat. She shook her head. She didn't want to eat. Then she started acting funny.

"This is some sort of sick joke, huh Ducky?"

He looked at her. Her face was synthetically enthusiastic.

"What do you mean Alexandra?"

She smirked.

"This has got to be a mistake, Ducky."

Ducky immediately thought, _Oh Dear_. This was the beginning of the first stage of grief: Denial. Alex was falling into deeply, and she needed to get out of it.

"Alexandra, I can assure you that this is no mistake. Your mother is dead, I performed the autopsy myself."

Alex just smiled.

"We'll see about that."

She went upstairs to bed. She cried again. She knew her mother was dead, she just couldn't believe it. She had not meant to be that way with Ducky; the words had just come out of her. She fell asleep after about an hour of tossing and turning. She hoped that she would wake up from this nightmare.

Doctor Donald "Ducky" Mallard did not go to sleep that night. He would have to take care of some details that Alex could not make, as she was a minor. He'd already talked with the lawyer. She would stay with him. There was one thing that he had not been too happy about. He couldn't tell Alex who her father was until she was fourteen or unless she came into danger of bodily harm. He also couldn't tell her father she even existed. The parameters for telling him were the same. He knew that there was a method to her madness; he just wasn't happy about it. He also worried: What would happen if her father died before he could tell either of them about the other? Knowing how her father operated, that was a very real possibility.

The funeral had gone off without a hitch. It was a good ceremony, and it was respectful. Ducky watched Alex the entire time. She didn't cry. In fact she showed no emotion at all the entire time. She was like a robot. The only thing that made it clear that she was alive was that she was breathing. Towards the end of the ceremony, her eyes turned glassy. He could tell that she was fighting the urge to cry. He squeezed her hand, she squeezed back. As everyone filed out, there were tears silently streaming down her cheeks. Ducky knew that he had to leave, but he knew that Alex would want to say her final goodbyes to her "cousin" alone. But he decided not to leave her alone. He motioned to his assistant.

"Jimmy, please stay here with Alexandra while she says her final goodbyes. I have to go back to NCIS."

"Of course, Doctor."

Palmer stayed towards the back of the church to give her some privacy. But as she started talking, he couldn't help but come closer. He heard the basic goodbyes that were normal for the circumstances. He then amended his thoughts: There was _nothing_ that was normal about this. His thoughts to this affect was further confirmed when Alex said something that surprised him.

"I'm going to miss you Mom."

The only thought that went through his head when she said this was:

_"Holy Shit"_

"Director Shepard was actually your mother?"

Alex jumped out of her skin. She thought that she was the only one left in the church. She noticed Palmer. She immediately looked around to make sure no one else was there.

"How much did you hear, Palmer?"

"Just the part where you said goodbye to your mother, I wasn't snooping. I thought that you were cousins."

"It's alright if you were. I'm glad that _someone_ else knows other than Ducky."

"No one else knows the truth?"

"So far as I know, only myself, my mother, Ducky, you, and the Director before my mom know"

"You were close?"

"She was my mother what do you expect?"

Palmer stood there thinking. He hadn't known Director Shepard very well, but he had heard the rumors from when she was an agent. Ducky had admitted to him that some of those rumors were true; but he wouldn't tell him which ones. Well at least he knew one of those rumors to be true. Alex was living proof of that rumor.

"Palmer, did you lose a parent when you were younger?"

"Yes I did. I lost my mother when I was eleven. It was a car crash."

"Then I guess we have something in common, Palmer"

Alex came up to him. She looked like she needed a hug, so he opened up his arms. She returned the hug, nearly breaking his ribs. She was strong. Then he noticed that she was crying. He stood there, stroking her hair and comforting her. He'd noticed that she hadn't shed a tear during the ceremony itself; so he figured that she was letting it out. When she was done, she gave him a final hug.

"Thank-you, Palmer. I needed to do that."

"Let's go back to NCIS; I need to get you back to Doctor Mallard"

Once they got back to NCIS, they went immediately to Autopsy. Ducky was waiting there.

"Alexandra, go upstairs and visit Abigail."

"As you wish, Ducky."

Once Alex was in the elevator, Palmer asked Ducky a question.

"Doctor Mallard, she said goodbye to her mother. Now why would she say that to her "cousin"?

"I see you know the truth Mr. Palmer. You are going to have to keep that information to yourself."

"Who's her father?"

"Mr. Palmer, you can't lie about something I don't tell you."

A few weeks later…

It was summer vacation. Most kids would be outside reveling in their freedom from school. Previous summers, Alex Shepard had been one of those kids. This summer was different. Her mother had died about a month and a half ago, and she'd only left the house to go around with Ducky on his errands. She stayed at home while he was at work. She didn't want to go anywhere near NCIS Headquarters. She just read books on flying. Occasionally, she would eat. A few days ago, McGee had brought his dog by, while he talked to Ducky. She played with Jethro the German Shepard, but a smile refused to creep onto her face. She was still having trouble believing what had happened to her. She would sit without moving for hours on end. Today was no different. Ducky got home at his usual time; today he had Chinese food. She noticed that with a smile. He'd been trying to get her to eat regularly for weeks now. She decided that she would eat the Chinese food, as she was hungry and the smell of Mongolian Beef hit her nose; she knew that she could not resist it. She came down the stairs, smiled at Ducky, and tore into the Mongolian Beef once they'd gotten everything set up. Ducky looked pleased with himself. She was finally eating.

"Did you eat at all today?"

"No, I didn't. This is the first time I've eaten today."

"Alexandra, you really have to stop doing this. You need to eat."

"It's not like I do anything. All I do is read."

Ducky sighed. They'd had this argument before. Alexandra didn't eat as much as she usually had.

"Does this have anything to do with what happened recently?"

"No, I am out of the Denial stage, but I haven't gone any further, _yet_"


	3. Meltdown

Chapter 2: Meltdown

School had started again. She didn't want to go back, but Ducky told her that she needed to go back to doing something. The first day had been _interesting_ to say the least. No sooner had homeroom ended, one of the older kids made a crack about her mom not having enough sense to get out of a burning building. She set her books down, walked right over to the kid and kicked him in the family jewels. It had seemed like a good idea at the time. Of course, when the kid had yelled bloody murder, the teachers came running. That had not been the first crack about her mother on that day, what had been said was the straw that broke the camel's back. She didn't get into too much trouble; because there were extenuating circumstances. She put it out of her mind. Unfortunately, the same thing happened the next week and the week after that. She was getting after school punishments, but she didn't give a damn. She just wanted the cracks about her mother to stop. She was angry all the time now. She was angry at herself, angry at the kids at school, angry at her teachers, angry at pretty much everybody that got in her way of unleashing that anger. Only last week, she'd been asked to turn in her soccer uniform. She supposed it was for knocking everyone on the other team around, even breaking someone's wrist. She was in her "Angry at the entire world" stage of the grieving process. Ducky was worried about her. She was at home this weekend, and she knew Ducky would be having a serious conversation with her about her new social activities. It was a euphemism for the fact that she had had a fight every week since school was back in session. He didn't know what to do with her. Ducky came upstairs; she knew from the look on his face that a conversation about the fight that she'd had earlier in the week, where she'd nearly broke a kid's arm. The kid had brought up a fact about her life that she preferred to keep to herself. It concerned the fact that her parents had never been married.

"I heard you nearly broke a boys arm on Tuesday, why did you do that?"

Her eyes flashed navy blue. He knew that look. It was common for her father to have that look when he was angry or in the grip of an extremely painful memory. He decided that it was probably the latter.

"He insulted me, mom, and whoever my father is"

"How did he do that?"

"He called me a bastard who would go the way my mom went"

Ducky sighed. This wasn't the first time Alexandra had been called that by someone at her school. She tried to ignore the nastiness from the other kids. Kids could be so cruel sometimes. She'd already inherited the trademarked redhead temper. She also had come to like building model airplanes in the basement. She said that she felt at ease there. He smiled to himself. She at least finished her projects in the basement; unlike her father who would burn the boats before he finished them.

"Columbus Day weekend is coming up; you can come with me to work. No arguments. Abigail wants to see you."

Alex suppressed a shudder. She hadn't gone anywhere near the Navy Yard since her mother died. She wanted to keep that up. But she knew that she would not win the argument. She would have to go to with Ducky to work.

"Fine Ducky; I'll go with you".

Columbus Day Weekend…

Alex was not exactly thrilled that she was coming to work with Ducky. While looking forward to seeing Abby, she had little else to look forward to. Once they got in, the agent up front smiled at Alex as he gave her the visitor's pass. When they got to Autopsy, Alex got out some books and started reading. She also had her I-Pod on her so she put them in and started listening to music. Ducky did have an autopsy to perform. Palmer arrived about fifteen minutes after they did. He noticed that Alex was there. This was the first time he'd seen her since May. She looked different; she looked at least seven years older than she really was.

"How's she doing Doctor?"

"She's seen better days. Getting her to come here was difficult."

They got to work on the autopsy. When they got to the chest cavity, Alex had gotten up. She watched for a bit. What impressed them both was that she did not vomit like some of the new agents would when they were brought in. Ducky smirked. She, unlike her mother, kept her food in her stomach. Alex watched for a few more minutes.

"Hey Ducky, I'm going up to the lab if you want to find me."

After she left, things went slightly faster. Palmer kept on thinking back to the fact that Alex had kept her food. There were fully grown adult agents that couldn't keep their lunch; and then there was a seven year old girl who watched an autopsy without betraying any emotion. He wondered where she was in the five stages of grief.

"Hey Doctor, where is Alex in the grief process?"

"She is in the anger stage. Since school started, she has been in a fight once a week. Some of them have been more serious than others. Most of the fights have been verbal; two of them have had physical contact. What is good is that she does not start the fights; she just is the one that finishes them. I wish she would get out of Anger soon; she is almost impossible to be around"

Up in the Forensics Lab…

Abby hugged Alex tightly. When she squirmed, Abby let go. She was obviously getting uncomfortable.

"Whatcha doing Abby; does it have something to do with the autopsy that Ducky is doing?"

"Yes it does. It looks as if the Marine had been poisoned, though by what I don't know yet."

"The murderer must have used a lot of poison."

"Yep; only the murderer got impatient and shot him."

"What was the firearm used?"

"Looks like your basic 9mm rounds that could come from any number of pistols, including the SIG"

Alex looked interestedly at the bullet on the screen. She found it fascinating that so much could be told from so little. Her inspection was interrupted when Abby quickly walked her to the back room.

"Stay here, and don't come out until I get you"

Alex did as she was told. She was aware of Abby's eccentricities and found them interesting. She then noticed a deck of Tarot cards on the little table next to her. She decided to play around with them for a bit. It would pass the time. She drew the first three cards from the top of the deck and placed them face down on the floor. The three cards were Death, The Tower, and the Nine of Swords. All three of them had negative connotations. She noticed that Abby had come back to get her. She noticed that Alex had the deck of Tarot cards out, and the three cards that had been drawn.

"Abby, you don't believe that there is anything to these really?"

"I hope not. Director Vance wants to speak with you."

"What would he want with me?"

"I don't know. Be nice."

Alex got up from where she was. Director Vance was already there. She could barely keep a sneer off her face. From what she'd heard, he was a real bastard. She kept her thoughts to herself once they went to her mother's old office.

"Why am I here, _Director?_"

"I just need you to answer some questions about how the health insurance is going to be distributed"

As he rattled off the questions, Alex got bored relatively quickly. This was bureaucratic nonsense that she knew absolutely nothing about.

"Shouldn't you be asking Ducky these questions? He is my guardian."

Vance ignored her interruption. Questions were going to get slightly more personal.

"Do you know what they did at the funeral home to make the body presentable?"

Alex's face was a mixture of anger and confusion: Anger at the fact that somebody would ask her something like that so soon after the death and confusion as to why somebody would ask her that. She felt her control slipping.

"I do not know what they did. You would have to ask Ducky about that; he didn't tell me the details as I was distraught at the time. What makes it the business of the government to know that?"

Vance again ignored the last part. He only had one more question for the girl.

"Why did your mother go into the desert without contacting anyone and without _proper_ backup?"

"She had Mike Franks with her."

"A washed up drunk if there ever was one."

Alex was visibly angry. She was fighting the urge to cry. But she didn't want to give Vance the satisfaction. Little did Vance know, someone else was listening to their discussion. Cynthia Summers, the secretary had heard every word of the conversation. She was disgusted that the new Director would say something like that to a child who'd just lost someone near and dear. If Alex was anything like her cousin, Vance would be in some serious danger. She found her excuse. The SecNav just called. She told him that she would inform the Director of his call.

"Director Vance, the SecNav has been waiting for you to answer his call for about five minutes. Oh and Alex, Doctor Mallard is looking for you."

Vance took the call, but not before Alex gave him a glare that would have scared lesser men. Cynthia took Alex out to the elevator. Once they got to the elevator, she pulled the emergency stop.

"I am so sorry that that happened Alex. I miss your cousin, and he should not have asked you those questions."

"Why did he ask me them then?"

"I do not know; it wasn't for official purposes"

They got to Autopsy. Cynthia let Alex off with a hug. Ducky noticed that Alex was on the verge of tears.

"What happened Alexandra? Did someone upset you?"

Alex just looked at him and tears were silently making their way down her cheeks. She nodded. She also was going to tell him who had made her so upset.

"While I was visiting Abby, Director Vance came and said that he wanted to talk to me, that he had some questions he wanted to ask. Thinking that you would be there, I saw no reason to object. Once we got to the office, he started asking me questions. After a while, I realized that they were questions that he should be asking you. I said that to him, he ignored it. He then asked me what the funeral home did to make the body presentable. After I got over the shock of him asking me that, I said that I didn't know. He then asked me the last question: Why did she go to the desert without notifying anyone and why didn't she have proper backup? When I said that she had backup in the form of Mike Franks, he brushed it off. He said that Franks was a washed up old drunk. That was when I began to see red. I probably would've done something stupid if Cynthia hadn't come in. Why did he ask me those questions Ducky?"

Ducky drew himself to his full height. He wasn't as tall as some of the others that worked here, but he could be imposing when he wanted to be. He was going to have a word with Director Vance.

"Alexandra, go to Abigail's lab. I have some things to discuss with the Director."

Cynthia was not surprised to see Doctor Mallard barging into the office. From the look in his eyes, she let him in. She did not want to be Director Vance at the moment.

"What possessed you to ask her questions like that? She just lost someone near and dear to her, and you go and upset her like that."

"I asked her questions I thought she would know"

"Codswallop; she told me the kind of questions you asked her. They were questions that you should've asked me. And that last question was completely out of line. Your answer was even worse. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a seven year old girl to comfort."

Things got interesting for Vance the next week. He had a dose of food poisoning and Ducky came up with tests that while being necessary, were very inconveniently timed.

Onto Christmas Break…

Alex was not in a good mood. The holidays this year were tough. Her birthday had been almost worse than Thanksgiving. Ducky had tried to be festive on her birthday and she had tried to be receptive to the festivity. But it was a front for her anger and pain. She had been happy with the gifts Ducky had gotten her. One was a huge book about the airplanes of WW2 from every country. Including France; she hadn't known that France had an Air Force before the Germans invaded. The other had been a balsa wood model kit for a PBY-Catalina. She was glad that this semester was over. She was also glad she was going to get away from Washington. She and Ducky were going to visit an old friend of her mother's, Zelda Owens. She lived in Maine. She knew that the trip served two purposes: get her away from Washington and because Ducky liked Maine crab. While she was working with the dope to make the balsa wood workable she heard a voice.

_"You should really turn the fans on Alex that stuff will make you hallucinate"._

Alex shook her head. The dope must really be getting to her; she was hearing the voice of someone she knew to be dead. She shook it off, ignoring the voice. A few minutes passed before she heard the voice again along with the sound of the fans turning on. The voice was right behind her.

_"Alex you haven't forgotten me already have you?"_

She had been working with the exacto knife. Hearing the voice she yelped and threw the knife up in the air embedding it in the tile. She slowly calmed herself down before speaking, choosing her words carefully.

"I can never forget you mom."

Upstairs in the kitchen, Ducky heard Alex yelp in the basement. He knew that she had been having many problems with the airplane kit; she had been using words that he had only heard from senior noncoms of the United States Marine variety. He figured she was just venting her frustration.

Alex just sat and stared. Here was her mother, in ghost form, standing right across from her. She was nearly speechless.

_"Well, do you want to talk, or are you going to just stare at me?"_

Alex began to recover her senses. She began to remember her anger at her mom.

"I only have one question for you mom: WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG?"

Her mother smiled sadly. It was only to be expected that she would be asked that. Before she could answer however, her daughter asked her a far more pointed question.

"WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU WHEN VANCE GAVE ME THE THIRD DEGREE!"

_"Alex, let me explain. Doing something like that has rules on the other side. It has to be needed, deserved, and the energy to show up has to be available"._ She was about to go further when Alex yelled:

"Where were you all this time Mom; don't you know what's been happening? People at school are calling me names; I've been in fights all semester. I've needed you all this time, so now you show up and want to talk? I don't want to talk to you; you abandoned me so GO AWAY!" After she said this, her mother faded out. Once she was gone, Alex sobbed for a few minutes. She then stormed up the stairs.

Upstairs, Ducky heard Alex yelling. She was really screaming at someone and in a few different languages. From what he could understand, she was yelling at someone in French, apparently it was someone who'd abandoned her. He then heard her storming up the stairs, swearing a blue streak in Russian. Once she got upstairs, slouched down in the seat, and after a few minutes he asked her:

"Who were you yelling at, Alexandra? You were screaming at somebody."

All Alex did was mess with her food. She decided to dance around the truth, as she thought that she was losing her mind.

"I was hallucinating Ducky. I should've listened to you about turning the fans on."

Ducky knew that Alex was keeping something from him. He pretended to buy her story; he would get it out of her eventually.

They were on their way from Dulles to Portland International Airport, where they would rent a car and drive about 45 minutes to Zelda's house by the sea. Ducky watched Alexandra sleep. She could sleep through anything, and could sleep anywhere. She was like her father in that manner. Before she'd gone to sleep, he'd asked her again about the little dust up in the basement. Again she gave him the vague answer of seeing things. She fell asleep quickly.

They drive was fairly uneventful. Ducky had rented a four wheel drive since snow was expected. Alex was just staring out the window, as if she were seeing things only she could see. Once they got to Zelda's house, they got out of the car with their baggage. As if she were psychic, Zelda opened the door to see her guests.

"Hello Doctor Mallard. How are you doing?"

"Not bad Griselda. Just glad to get away from Washington for a little bit"

Zelda then noticed the smaller guest. She used her full watt smile. When Alex didn't reply, Ducky nudged her.

"Merry Christmas, Zelda"

"Merry Christmas to you, Alex; let's get inside out of the cold and to your rooms"

After they put their stuff in their rooms, they went their separate ways. Alex went to the study to read, Ducky and Zelda were drinking hot cider.

"Doctor, how has she been holding up?"

"Well, she had about one fight a week from the beginning of school till Columbus Day weekend. After that, it seemed to die down to one fight every other week. Celebrating her birthday was painful for her; I tried to be festive for her sake, but she could tell what was what. She liked her gifts that I got her; she expressed her gratitude for them. She's been building a lot of model airplanes; she calls them occupational therapy. Thanksgiving week was one of the worst for her. She got into an argument with a teacher about an assignment in which they had to talk about three things that they were thankful for this year. Alex said she only had one thing to be thankful for, and that was me taking her in. Her teacher, who was reprimanded, said some things to her that weren't nice. But a really odd thing happened about five days ago. She'd just gotten off on Christmas break, and she was working on her model airplane kit that I'd gotten her for her birthday. After she'd been there for about an hour, I heard her yelp. She'd been having problems with the stuff used to make the balsa wood workable, so I thought nothing of it. About ten minutes later, I heard her screaming at someone in French; apparently at someone who she thought had abandoned her. After that, she came up the stairs for an early dinner. During dinner, I asked her who she was yelling at. She said that she should've listened to me about turning the fans on, the dope used to soften the balsa wood really got to her head. She said that she was hallucinating. I could tell that she was lying, but I let it go. I asked her again on the airplane, she gave me the same party line" as he was talking he noticed that Zelda was nodding and smirking somewhat.

"There something I should know Griselda?"

"Not at the moment, I am just going to go and talk with Alex about her hallucination. Make yourself at home."

Zelda went looking for Alex. She found her in the study, reading the fourth Harry Potter book. Zelda rolled her eyes and thought: _Where did that Rowling woman get her information on us?_

"Hello Alex; where are you in the book?"

"I'm at the Quidditch World Cup."

"You know it's not so much basketball on broomsticks, but more like the National Air Races."

_That_ got her attention. Airplanes held a fascination on her. But then she realized that Zelda had said something important.

"Really; that sounds interesting."

"Doctor Mallard told me about what happened a few days ago in the basement. He said that you like to work on model airplanes down there; and that you were yelling at someone who'd abandoned you. Who was it?"

Alex rolled her eyes. Figures Ducky would tell their host about what happened.

"Zelda, I appreciate your concern, but this is not something I want to talk about."

As Alex left, Zelda knew that she would have to directly approach.

"And how is your mother, Alex?"

Alex stopped in her tracks. How did she know that?

"How do you know that it was my mom I spoke to?"

"I've spoken with your mom a few days ago. She was rather upset."

"I was well within bounds to talk to her like that. Where has she been?"

"She has unfinished business. You are a part of that."

"Is my father a part of her unfinished business also?"

"Yes he is."

Alex was silent. So she hadn't been hallucinating. Her mother actually had been there. And apparently, Zelda could see and speak to her also. But what about the rules that her mom had tried to explain to her before Alex had lost it completely?

"Hey Zelda, my mom mentioned these rules, that for her to be able to show up it has to be needed, deserved, and the energy has to be available. Why are they there?"

"It's to keep spirits from annoying people. The situation being needed and deserved is the easy part; the energy being available is the hard part. But there always is a lot of energy available around the holidays, especially Christmas."

"So being able to see her is some kind of special ability?"

"Yes it is. On your mother's side of the family there are connections to the other side; certain members of your family could manipulate the powers from the other side more than others."

"Did my mom ever develop her abilities?"

"Not particularly. But those skills that she did develop are part of what made her a good agent and director."

"So these abilities that my mom's family had, are they sort of like the Force in the _Star Wars_ movies?"

"That is the closest approximation"

"Where am I on this power wheel?"

"You are more of a detector than wielder; but you do have some wielding capabilities. Kind of like your father in a sense."

Alex immediately jumped on that tidbit of information. She wanted information on her father.

"Do you know who my father is?"

"Yes I do."

"Will you tell me?"

"No I cannot; I'd get into trouble if I did tell you. There is a court order that keeps anyone that knows your father's identity from telling you before you turn fourteen."

"But that's in six years!"

"Look, Alex you have to understand, your mother is trying to protect you."

Alex fumed. She got up and left the room, slamming the door. Zelda sighed. Then a cough interrupted her silence. She knew without turning it was her brother Dennis. He'd apparently heard the last part of the conversation.

"How can you look that kid in the eyes and not tell her who her father is Zel", he asked.

"Dennis you know about that court order. If I tell her, I'll be charged with contempt of court."

"You know Zel, she didn't name everyone who knows the name of Alex's father on that court order", said Dennis thoughtfully. "You never told Jenny that you told me who the father was."

"Don't you dare tell her, Dennis!"

"Why? I'm not named in the court order; what's to keep me from telling her?"

"Dennis, do not tell her; she's here to get away from that entire racket in Washington. Besides, Doctor Mallard is the one that has to tell her, not us".

Dennis wasn't thrilled about having to keep his mouth shut. He could tell the pain that Alex was in. He knew that there was only one person in the world that could come close to being in anywhere near as much anguish and pain as she was. It was her father.


	4. What do you want from me, God?

Chapter 3: What do you want from me God?

Alex was cleaning up the school's chapel. Part of her punishment; this was a carryover from the previous semester, when she'd gotten into several fights. She was grateful for the solitude. She liked being by herself. She hadn't gone anywhere near a church of any sort since her mother died. She had trouble believing that a God would do something like that. So you could say she was a little shaky in terms of her faith in a higher, merciful power. She decided that now was as good a time as any to have a chat with a higher power.

"Hello God, its Alex Shepard. Sorry to not have spoken to you for the past several months. I think we both know the reason why. You took my mom from me, why did you do that? Don't give me the "it was her time to go rigmarole". I will do anything to have her back for one day. Name the thing you want me to do. There are things that she was supposed to tell me, but she got murdered before she could tell me; particularly things about my father; like who he is among other things. I'll stop fighting the people that call me a bastard. What do you want from me GOD?"

Yelling made her feel better. Sort of; but she knew that yelling at Him was not usually a good idea. He would make His displeasure known to her in His mysterious ways. Why had He done this to her? What she didn't notice was that Father O'Malley had walked in. He heard her conversation. He understood her situation; he'd lost a close family member when he was young.

"Miss Shepard, are you almost done?"

"Almost Father; I'll get out of your hair soon."

"It's not a problem."

Alex sensed that he'd heard what she said. She decided to ask him what he thought.

"Father, did you hear what I was saying?"

"Yes I did. And before you ask, I understand where you're coming from. I lost a parent when I was very young myself. I asked the exact same questions you were asking, though probably not as angrily as you were. If you want to talk, I'll listen."

"Thanks for the offer. I'm currently suffering a crisis of faith here, I'm sure you understand."

"I understand. You are free to go, Miss Shepard."

"Thank you father."


	5. All the Lonely People

Chapter 4: All the Lonely People

_A/O: This chapter is going to be kinda dark. It's the depression chapter and both Gibbs and Alex will be going through some dark times. This is where Ducky and Zelda seriously entertain the idea of disobeying the court order._

Doctor Mallard _really_ hated that court order at the moment. He couldn't tell either of them anything about their true relationship. They were both obviously in the Depression stage of grief. They were dealing with it in their own ways. Neither spoke much, outside of what was necessary. He'd toyed briefly with keeping Alex away from the exacto knife, but he knew that the models had turned into a coping mechanism; occupational therapy, she called it. They were her escape. In a way to keep from talking; she did so much detail work it was amazing. The models looked so real. But he knew that the models were a temporary escape from reality for her; once she was done with the model, he would find places that accepted model airplane donations. So far, she'd only actually kept one for herself. It was a P-51D Mustang, with the detail art to go with _Glamorous Glennis,_ which was Chuck Yaeger's airplane. She was working on a Corsair, a Navy warbird. He had no idea if she was going to keep that one. He was worried about her being alone down there with the exacto knife and all those chemicals used to help make the models.

"Hey Alexandra, those airplanes are missing their crews. Why don't you make a crew for the Catalina?"

She looked up and nodded. She'd make the crews for the planes.

"Oh and by the way, you're coming with me to work tomorrow; so go to bed at a civilized hour; and don't even try to argue."

All she did was nod her assent. That was pretty much all she did right now; other than eat, sleep, and go to school. He never thought that he'd think this, but he almost preferred her anger to her silence. 

The trip to NCIS was silent. Alex had her I-Pod on and was staring out the window. He'd learned not to try and talk to her while she was in this state of mind. He also didn't try and cheer her up. It was not recommended. She hung out mostly in Autopsy, watching him and Palmer open people up.

Today's Autopsy was an interesting one. Like the last time, it was a Marine; but this time it was a second lieutenant barely out of the Academy. Keeling over and dying was not what would happen normally, as this one was in the prime of their life and in top physical shape. This lieutenant's stomach was a mess. It was a case of poisoning obviously; with serious damage to the liver and spleen. It was disgusting even for Ducky. Alex had also watched the opening up of the body; again she kept her lunch. Palmer noticed that Alex seemed not to notice anything except the body. She remained motionless until about noon, when her stomach started growling. She ignored it for fifteen minutes, until Ducky said

"Alexandra, go get something to eat. You need it."

"But Ducky, I'm not hungry."

"You're not fooling anyone, go get something to eat."

She got up and left. Palmer and Ducky watched her leave. They worked for about ten more minutes before Palmer asked what was up with Alex.

"Doctor Mallard, how is she doing?"

"She's been better. She is in the Depression stage and I'm worried that she might do something to hurt herself. I've at least got her making crews for her Catalina and other aircraft. At least she's away from the exacto knife and the chemicals."

Up in the mess room…

Abby and McGee were walking up to the mess room to have lunch. They'd heard that Ducky had brought Alex with him, and they wanted to see her. When they got there, they noticed something rather eerie. Though Gibbs and Alex were on other sides of the room from each other, they were eating their sandwiches in the _exact same_ way. As they watched with growing shock, Ducky walked in.

"Timothy, Abigail; what is going on? You two look like you've seen a ghost."

Abby recovered her voice first. She pointed at both Alex and Gibbs.

"Ducky; look at them!"

Ducky looked and watched Alex and Jethro go through their motions of eating their sandwiches. The motions were identical.

"Good God!"

After they finished lunch, Abby and McGee hauled Ducky to the lab. He had some questions to answer. Once they got him in; they peeked out the door to make sure that no one was going to interrupt them.

"Alright Ducky start talking; how do you explain what we saw" was the first question that McGee asked.

"There is nothing to talk about Timothy; I have to get back to Autopsy."

"Ducky, I have a degree in biomedical engineering; I do know something about genetics."

Abby then asked,

"Is there a Gibblet on the loose, Ducky?"

Ducky sighed. Someone had noticed it; and it would be obvious he was lying. But he had a few things to say before he told them for sure.

"You cannot say a word to anyone about what I'm going to tell you understand; I could get into trouble for telling you. Do you two promise not to say anything?"

"We promise Ducky; same question as before: Is there a Gibblet on the loose?"

"Yes there is; and her mother is who you think it is: former Director Shepard."

"Does either of them know?"

"If either of them knew, we would not be having this conversation, now would we Timothy?"

"How long have you known who her father is, Ducky", asked Abby.

"I've known since the day I did the blood tests in May of 2000 for agents returning from Europe. I've been keeping this secret for almost nine years. Right now, it is very hard. They are both in so much pain. I really have to go back to Autopsy right now. Remember to keep your mouths shut."

Abby and McGee were silent. It was going to be_ very_ difficult to keep this from their boss. This was a test of their abilities.

They were not the only ones to figure it out that day. While Alex was on her way to the elevator to go to Autopsy; she ran into Tony. She gave him a glare that was all too familiar. They both got into the elevator; Alex got off at Abby's lab, Tony's stop was Autopsy. It was a good thing that only Ducky and the Autopsy Gremlin were in there. He noticed that they were finishing up.

"Hey Ducky, can I talk to you about something I saw Alex do?"

"What did she do Anthony?"

"Nothing bad; it's just that I noticed when we ran into each other, literally, she gave me a glare that was all too familiar. Ducky, is there something that the boss should know?"

Ducky sighed again. If the guardian ad litem found out what he had been doing today, she'd have a fit. But he couldn't help it if some people noticed the similarities between father and daughter.

"Anthony, what I am about to tell has to be kept under wraps for a while. You have to promise me that you will not say anything. Got it?"

Tony nodded. Ducky wouldn't be acting like this if it wasn't important. He said, "I promise Ducky".

"Okay Anthony; I shall tell you. Yes, Alexandra is Jethro's daughter. Yes, she is Jennifer's daughter. I've kept this secret for almost nine years. You have to keep your mouth shut. I believe that Miss David suspects this, because of her previous close working relationship with the director."

"I will keep my mouth shut Ducky. I promise."

The next day of work was hard for everyone. Abby, McGee, Ziva, and Tony were keeping their mouths shut. Every time they looked at their boss and saw how much pain he was in; they were tempted to tell. During that day, the four of them managed to be in Autopsy without Gibbs being around. Alex was also in the bathroom at the time they were all in the same place. Ducky noticed them come in. They all looked exhausted and harried. Ducky knew that look. They were drained from keeping themselves from telling their boss about what they knew. Tony spoke first.

"Ducky, how do you do this? Not telling Gibbs or his kid about their familial link when they are in so much pain; when knowing about the other would alleviate that pain? Other than the court order of course; how do you do it?"

"Well the court order is the main thing. I would be charged with contempt of court. And the guardian ad litem that Alex has is a real piece of work; she's always watching me, making sure I don't tell."

McGee spoke next.

"But Ducky, if you tell them, the guardian ad litem will have no power over Alex anymore. She'd have no say in where she lives".

"Trust me; this guardian ad litem would make things difficult for them"

The team shut up as Gibbs walked in. Time to go back to work and to the world.

That night, Ducky noticed that Alex actually went to bed at a civilized hour. But he knew that going to bed and falling asleep were two entirely different things. She might go to bed at a decent hour, but she would most likely not be falling asleep until later that night.

Alex Shepard was tossing and turning. She looked at the clock irritably; it was one in the morning and she hadn't fallen asleep. Also, her shade of depression fell over her. She really missed her mom. She knew that her mom was always around; she could feel her presence. Zelda said that this was perfectly normal for someone with her abilities. She really missed her mom at the moment; and wished that she could talk with her. A few minutes later, while she was sitting at her window seat, she got that spidey sense feeling that she wasn't alone. She turned around and noticed that her mother was there, in her room.

_"Hi Alex; you wanted to see me?"_

All Alex did was run over and hug her mother. To her shock, her mother was actually solid at the moment.

"Mom, how are you solid?"

_"Some people from the other side are helping me by giving me some of their energy, and they gave enough to me tonight for me to be solid for you"_

All Alex wanted right now was the comfort of being in her mother's arms. She could talk to her whenever she wanted, when her mom wasn't solid. They sat like that for about an hour and a half, before Alex finally fell asleep. Being solid, her mother picked her up and put her in bed. She smiled at her daughter, smoothing her hair. She had to go back now.

A/N 2: This is going to be on the "other side". There will be some familiar faces that are helping Jen.

When she got back to the other side, she nodded at the receptionist. The receptionist barely looked up. Jen rolled her eyes. Receptionists were always the same, dead or not. She looked around. She needed to start finding the people to thank for helping her be solid for her daughter tonight. A voice from behind her asked,

"Well how is my granddaughter tonight, Jen; did she like you being solid?"

"She loved it Dad. I wish it could be more often that I could do that for her. She really needed me tonight"

"If she knew who her father was, maybe she wouldn't be in as much pain. She'd be with someone who was going through what she was going through"

"I can't tell her now Dad; it's against the rules."

"You were never much for the rules Jenny."

"Dad, I wanted to find you and say thank you; for the both of us"

"Anytime you need to go see her; just come ask me. I'll give you the energy needed."

Jen then left her father. She went looking for one of the others to thank. She found another one.

"Hi Kate; thanks for the juice. She really needed it."

"It wasn't a big deal. I don't have as many reasons to go back. You needed it more than I did. How did she like it?"

"She really liked it. We didn't talk much; I just held her. That was what she needed me to do. Thanks again Kate."

"Don't mention it. If you need me to do that again, don't hesitate to ask."

Jenny went looking around again. There were three people left she needed to thank. She went looking for another person to thank.

"How did my granddaughter like her mom being solid?"

Jenny turned around. It was Elizabeth Gibbs, Jethro's mother.

"Your granddaughter loved it. All I did was holding her, it was what she wanted."

"Have you ever visited my son?"

"No I have not. The administration here said that I had to choose between him and Alex. I had to choose Alex. Have you visited him recently?"

"I've only watched him invisibly. He's drinking bourbon like they are going to stop making the stuff. I'm going to visit him soon. I'm worried that he's planning on doing something stupid; so I'm going to show myself to him and get him in gear."

"Thanks again. Where are the last two people that helped me with Alex?"

"We're right behind you. How'd she like being held by her mother?"

"She liked it. I can't thank you two enough."

"Anything to help Jethro and his child; my daughter was never meant to be an only child. Even if there is almost twenty years between them; she has a sister".

"Why didn't you tell him about your daughter Jen?"

"While I was alive, I told myself that I would tell him eventually. When I knew that I was dying, I told Alex that I would tell her who her father was once she got out of school for the summer. The day she got out of school; I was killed. The main reason I hadn't told him was to protect them both from the Russian mob. Jethro and I got them angry at us. I don't want him to have to bury another daughter, Shannon."

"I wouldn't want him to have to either. But wouldn't they be able to help each other through their grief?"

Jenny had no reply to that. Shannon was right. They would be able to help each other through this; but she'd wanted Alex to be protected.

"It's too late for anything to be done. If Ducky or Zelda tell either of them, contempt of court charges will be brought against them"

The two women went their separate ways. Jasper and Elizabeth had been listening to the conversation.

"I don't think I've ever seen a senior noncom that was so oblivious. He's seen Alex before, why didn't he make the connection?"

"He believed the public consumption story. I'm going to go visit him tonight. He needs to get his head where it belongs."

"Good luck Elizabeth."

Back to Earth…

Leroy Jethro Gibbs was drunk. There was no other explanation for it. He'd taken to drinking _a lot_ of bourbon lately. It helped him numb the pain he felt of the loss of the second woman he really loved. His SIG was with him as usual. A few times in the past three months, the SIG had looked _really_ friendly. As he reached for more bourbon a voice that he hadn't heard in years rang through the basement.

_"LEROY JETHRO GIBBS! DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT REACHING FOR THAT BOURBON!"_

He immediately pulled his hand away from the Jack. He thought that he might be hearing things.

"Mom, is that you?"

_"Yes it is, Leroy Jethro. You don't need to drink that much bourbon, it's not like they are going to stop making it anytime soon."_

"What do you want mom?"

"_What I want is for you to get your act together. You think that you are the only one suffering the loss of Jennifer Shepard? And if you are trying to kill yourself, why don't you just pick up that SIG and eat it? That's an easier way than drinking yourself to death. And if you kill yourself, in the afterlife you will be doing paperwork for ALL eternity. There is somebody out there that needs you to be alive. That person is suffering every bit as much as you are if not more."_

"Mom, I do not plan on killing myself. I will admit that it's been tempting the past few months, but I would never do that. Who is it that needs me to be alive for them?"

_"I'm afraid I can't tell you that, Leroy Jethro. You have to figure it out on your own."_

After his mother left, Gibbs rubbed his eyes. In the back of his mind, he knew that he hadn't been hallucinating. What had his mother meant that there was somebody out there that needed him? He resolved to think about it more when he woke up.

A few weeks later at Ducky's house…

Alex was at least speaking a little bit more. She was back to working on the Corsair model. She still hadn't smiled, but she seemed marginally less morose. She was thrilled when Zelda and Dennis showed up. They talked for hours it seemed. But while she enjoyed the conversation; she was beginning to get tired. After stifling a yawn; she returned back to Earth orbit; but not before Ducky noticed her.

"Alexandra, go to bed. It's past your bed time and you need to get up in the morning."

Alex didn't argue for once. She barely had gotten on her pajamas before she crashed on her bed. She would sleep soundly through the night. Ducky checked on her to make sure she was asleep. There was a conversation that she did not need to know about.

"How is she doing Doctor?"

"A little better; she is in so much pain. As is her father. At least he's stopped drinking heavily at the moment. I've let Alex go back to working on the actual models; she ran out of airplanes to make crews for and I trust that she won't hurt herself"

"You really thought that she was going to hurt herself" asked Dennis.

"I didn't know what to think. She was and still is in the depression stage of grief. Just not as deeply as before. But she still is in so much pain. I know something that will really help her and her father out of this rut. I'm a doctor, damn it, I am supposed to help people. When I know what will help them, I tell them what it is that will help them. But I can't because of that court order."

"I'm every bit as frustrated by that court order as you are, Doctor. But I realize that you are under more strain than Dennis and I because you have to see them on a daily basis deal with the pain. I wanted to tell her at Christmas; but again with that court order. How seriously are you considering breaking the court order and risk being charged with contempt of court?"

"I'm worried that the pain is going to become too much for them; and I'm also worried that her father might get himself killed before she turns fourteen. I'm seriously considering it."

"Why don't I tell her? I'm not named in the court order; I won't get charged, will I" asked Dennis.

"Because you learned the information from your sister, who _is_ named in the court order, it will still be a contempt of court charge with a third party involved. We would all get in trouble. I will tell them both when the time is right. Now is not the time"


	6. You'll be in my Heart

Chapter 5: You'll be in My Heart

A/N- As you may suspect, yes I did get the name of the chapter from the song. I think that it fits the relationship between Jen and Alex perfectly. This is May of 2009. I do not own NCIS or the song, no matter how much I want to.

It was the end of another school year. Hard to believe that a year had passed already since her mother died; or was murdered depending on how you looked at it. Her grades were up from the previous semester and she was in a much better mood. She still got crap about her mom, but she was ignoring most of it. She was learning Russian, and she was doing better in the class than the high school students that were taking it. She wondered if her mother was with her at the moment. Then she felt that little tingling feeling in the back of her mind; her mom was there and she was radiating approval. But since she wasn't alone, her mother did not appear. She just had to pack up her things, and she would be going home for the summer. She remembered the song her mom would sing softly to her when she was sad or scared.

_Come stop your crying, it'll be alright_

_ Just take my hand, hold it tight_

_ I will protect you from all around you_

_ I will be here, don't you cry_

_For one so small, you seem so strong_

_ My arms will hold you keep you safe and warm_

_ This bond between us can't be broken_

_ I will be here, don't you cry_

_ Cause you'll be in my heart, yes you'll be in my heart_

_ From this day on, now and forever more_

_ You'll be in my heart, no matter what they say_

_ You'll be here in my heart, always_

_ Why can't they understand the way we feel?_

_ They just don't trust what they can't explain_

_ I know we're different, but deep inside us, we're not that different at all_

_ And you'll be in my heart; yes you'll be in my heart_

_ From this day on, now and forevermore_

_ Don't listen to them, cause what do they know?_

_ We need each other, to have to hold_

_ They'll see in time, I know_

_ When destiny calls you, you must be strong_

_ I may not be with you, but you've got to hold on_

_ They'll see in time, I know_

_ We'll show them together cause_

_ You'll be in my heart, believe you'll be in my heart_

_ I'll be there from this day on, now and forevermore_

_ You'll be my heart; you'll be here in my heart, no matter what they say_

_Oh, you'll be in my heart_

_No matter what they say_

_You'll be here in my heart, always_

_Always_

_I'll be with you_

_I'll be there for you always_

_Always and always_

_Just look over your shoulder_

_Just look over your shoulder_

_Just look over your shoulder_

_I'll be there_

_Always_

The part that said "when destiny calls you, you must be strong, I may not be with you, but you've got to hold on", always made her choke up, because destiny had caught up with her mom before she could tell her some important things. She thought that she had failed in being strong without her mother; because she'd got into fights, ignored her schoolwork, and argued with her replacement (that last one wasn't really her fault). She made a few trips to the Morgan to put her stuff in the trunk.

"So where to now Ducky" she asked.

"We have to stop at a flower shop, Alexandra".

"Okay, Ducky; why?"

"You know what today is."

Alex gave him a look that could have melted titanium. She knew _exactly_ what today was; why would he think that she'd forget.

"Ducky I don't want to go."

"We are going to go visit your mother; you can speak with her while we are there."

Alex didn't argue. She hadn't told Ducky that she had frequent conversations with her mother; at all hours of the night when she couldn't go to sleep. When they got to the flower shop; Ducky looked at her.

"Which flowers do you want to get?"

"Orchids; they were her favorite."

After they paid for the flowers, they went onto Arlington. They drove for a little bit before they got to the gravesite. Ducky went first, stayed for a few moments, and went back to Alex.

"Go on, go talk to her"

Alex went to the site. She read the gravestone:

_Jennifer Marie Shepard_

_ 1963-2008_

_ Beloved Cousin and Friend_

She laid the flowers down. She noticed that there was another bouquet of orchids there already. Someone else also knew what her mother's favorite flowers were.

"Hey mom; it's been a year since you died. A lot has happened in the past year. I got into building model airplanes; of course you already know that. I got into a lot of fights at school in the fall; people were being nasty to me and about you. I got out of control. People understood, for the most part. Except director Vance, he asked me some nasty questions. Ducky had a fit. Let's just say that the next week, Vance got food poisoning; and once he got better, Ducky scheduled some tests that were very inconveniently timed for him. We had some petty revenge. The holidays were difficult without you; my birthday was even more difficult. I'm learning Russian at school; I am actually doing better than the high school students. I miss you mom, but I know that you're always there to talk. I have to leave now; I have to get back to Ducky's house. I'll talk to you later. I love you mom."

She went back to the car. As they drove back, she asked

"Ducky, who else knows that orchids were mom's favorite flowers?"

"There are other people that know"

They sat in silence for a little while longer. Alex turned to Ducky

"One day Ducky, I am going to get her a new gravestone."

"Why would you do that Alex?"

"Because, one day I want the world to know that she is my mother."

They got to Ducky's house. After she got all of her stuff into her room, she sat on her bed and sighed.

"I'm home. For now"


End file.
